Happiness Is What I Fear

Happiness is what I fear

Happiness is what I fear. Too many years of broken promises and dismissed tears to stand high on a mountain top and cheer. Happiness is what I fear.

Fresh memories of being enslaved and abused for centuries, allowing  broken pieces of levity to be the defining moments before it’s the end of me…Happiness is what I fear

Eliminating the chances of ever coming back, with a hatred that boils and a heart that’s black, Relax!

Happiness is what I fear. Maybe I fear everything I hold dear, push it away, seclude myself, hide in the darkness, and release red tears.

My patience is my grace, and the foul taste of madness has been overcome with the bitterness and sadness, formed out to a story that’s far gone and tragic and leads me to thoughts I never would have thought mattered.

My heart worn and tattered, emotions heavily bruised and battered, whipped, not broken, hurt and severely fractured.

Lord this pain…It wouldn’t hurt for it to happen again.

So I repeat the cycle because I couldn’t learn the first time and didn’t have the right to.

So as the world sits in anticipation of what I might do, I know, with the boundaries that are in place, I couldn’t do what I’d like to.

So I’ll display my anger after, after I enjoy the sweet scent of amorous chatter, this could lead to everything I’ve ever dreamed or sought after.

Yes, this feels like a maze, but I’m stuck in amazement, and I lean toward the millions that reside on the pavement.

So humble and meek, my soul feels heavy and it pulls to the weak.

I believe I’ve been set aside for a particular time to wait and watch for a particular sign

And now that I know, my fear has put me at a comfort level that I hold so dear.

I look around the room and know that He’s near! Yes, I understand….

Happiness is here.